Helen Ilsley | Director of BD & Executive Coach
Helen Ilsley, Executive Coach at The Executive Coaching Consultancy discusses the “confidence dip” that many women experience when returning to work after parental leave, emphasising that this challenge is closely linked to a shift in identity.
Many of the women Helen coaches are high-achieving professionals before taking leave. However, once they enter the early months of parenthood, they become deeply immersed in what she describes as the “cotton wool world of baby.” This period, often lasting six to twelve months, can create a strong contrast between two identities: the professional individual they once were and the new parent they have become. When preparing to return to work, many people feel a significant gap between these two versions of themselves, which can lead to a drop in confidence.
Coaching can play an important role in managing this transition, particularly when it takes place before parental leave begins. By preparing individuals for the emotional and psychological changes ahead, coaches can help normalise the identity shift and its impact on confidence. A key strategy is helping individuals clearly identify and articulate their professional strengths, the qualities and skills that make them uniquely effective at their jobs. Having this awareness allows them to retain a sense of professional identity whilst away from the workplace.
Helen also highlights that new parents develop many valuable skills during leave. Parenting often requires negotiation, patience, adaptability, and the ability to let go of perfectionism. Recognising these capabilities helps individuals see that they have continued to grow, even outside the workplace.
By combining their existing professional strengths with the new skills gained through parenthood, individuals can rebuild confidence and integrate their evolving identity as both professionals and parents.
