Why I Took Four Months of Paternity Leave

Why Every Dad Should Have the Same Opportunity

When my daughter was born, I did something that most British dads can only dream of – I took four months of paternity leave. For me, it was simply about being there.

I was there for my wife as she recovered from her C-section, carrying our newborn up and down the stairs when she couldn’t. I was there during that terrifying moment when our baby cracked her head and we rushed her to A&E, enduring those awful hospital nights not knowing if she’d be okay. I was there for the sleepless nights, the endless bottle feeds, and for the important arguments me and my wife needed to have to try and figure out how to parent as a team. And you know what? We found our balance. We found our way. And all because during this time, I didn’t for one second have to think about work.

That’s the power of paternity leave. It gives dads the time to be present, to support their partners, and to bond with their babies. But most British families don’t get that opportunity.

The UK offers the worst paternity leave in Europe. Two weeks. That’s it. And it’s paid at just £184.03 a week—less than half the minimum wage. Self-employed dads? They get nothing. For many fathers, two weeks isn’t enough time to figure out how to change a nappy, let alone build the foundations for a lifelong bond with their child.

When Shared Parental Leave (SPL) was introduced in 2015, it was supposed to fix this. The idea was that mums could give part of their maternity leave to dads. But ten years later, it’s clear the policy has failed. Only 5% of men take SPL, and I get why. It’s so complicated to arrange that most employers can’t figure it out, and it often means dads are forced to take leave away from their partners. In a world where men still earn more than women, most families simply can’t afford it.

The gender pay gap is part of what keeps men from taking paternity leave—and paternity leave is part of what keeps the gender pay gap alive. Women’s careers take a hit when they become mothers. And until we create a system that allows dads to step up and share the load, that won’t change. The result? One in three fathers in the UK takes no paternity leave at all, and half of those who do struggle financially because of it.

And yet, when I speak to dads, none of them want it to be this way. Marvyn Harrison, leader of Dope Black Dads, told me how, when his first child was born, he had to cut his two-week leave short because staying home would have left his family struggling to pay the bills. Stories like Marvyn’s are all too common, but it doesn’t have to be like this.

Across Europe and the OECD, countries offer paternity leave that is longer, better paid, and more evenly shared between partners. The benefits are clear. Nations that offer six weeks or more of paternity leave have a smaller gender pay gap, and a smaller gap in workforce participation between men and women. In fact, those countries are adding billions to their economies simply by making it easier for dads to be present during the crucial early months of their child’s life.

The private sector is already leading the way. Companies like Aviva, Vodafone, Deloitte, and others are offering far more than the statutory two weeks. I was lucky enough to work for one of these companies, which meant that when my daughter was in hospital, I could be there without worrying about my job or how we’d pay the mortgage. But that’s not the reality for most dads in the UK. For too many, it’s a choice between being there for their newborn or keeping food on the table.

We’ve seen how powerful paternity leave can be. Research shows that when dads take time off, it’s not just good for them and their partners—it’s good for their children, too. It reduces rates of postpartum depression and creates a more equal division of labour at home. And it helps turn families into true teams, with both parents playing a role in the day-to-day challenges of raising a child.

My experience taking four months off when my daughter was born wasn’t just about supporting my wife or spending time with my child. It was about figuring out who I wanted to be as a dad. It was about stepping up and learning to be a hands-on parent, in a way that so many dads don’t get the chance to. And now, it’s time for that to change.

This isn't just about my story, or even about the millions of dads who’ve been let down by the UK’s broken system. It’s about creating a society where every father can be there for their family without sacrificing their livelihood.

That’s why myself, my co-founder Andrew, and the rest of The Dad Shift team are planning to present an open letter to the government, asking individuals and businesses alike to urge the government to review Statutory Paternity Pay so it outpaces inflation, and hopefully consider offering dads more leave. We believe this is the moment to push for real change, to make sure every father has the time to bond with their baby and support their family without financial strain. This is how we build a fairer, more equal future for all parents.

If you’d like to join The Dad Shift and sign the letter, you can click the link here.